There's GOD in them there pots!

A few days ago I got a powerful yearning for curry from that Punjab restaurant in Cocoa Beach, FL. Only there are no Indian restaurants, Punjabi or otherwise, within 75 miles of here. So I searched Wal-Mart for anything even slightly resembling Punjabi curry, with no luck. Apparently in southern Louisiana you are either Cajun or Chinese or Mexican, maybe part Japanese, but those are your choices. Suffice it to say I went a little crazy in my head. You ever had a craving that you know you won't be able to fulfill for months? I tried to put it out of my head, but I went to buy bread and wouldn't you [curseword] know it, they had nan. Really? Not a single bit of any sort of slightly Indian food anywhere but they had nan. OK, so I ransacked their spice isle and found garam masala and basmati rice. Not all was lost, but it felt like it might be.

Hurrah for GARAM MASALA.

I found a recipe for Murgh Saag, not quite the curry I wanted, but a very close second. And Oh Dear Jesus, I just want to say a quick thank you for creating ginger, onions, coriander, chickens, butter, ginger, & GARLIC. Because at about the point where I had to put the onions, garlic, ginger and hot peppers into the food processor, my head started singing hymns. It started that ask and response typical of gospel churches, and eventually I started praising Jesus out LOUD, because hot DAMN those spices were meant to spend every second of their herbal lives together and also, with me. And when I added heat, every time I stirred it got a PRAISE JESUS or a HALLELUJAH which is kinda funny considering it's mostly Hindus in India.

This recipe has been a truly religious experience. I'm having a very hard time explaining exactly how I feel about all of these PERFECT ingredients being combined and turned into some delectable concoction.

If my taste buds don't give me a heart attack from sheer pleasure, I will be sure to report back soon.

Yours in Praise.
-M.

Jesse's Girl

You know that song about how that one guy wishes he had Jesse's girl? I was listening to it on the radio the other day, really listening to the lyrics, but then it just ended. What happened?

I mean, did he get the girl? Did they let some tramp ruin their friendship? Did he find another girl like Jesse's girl? Did he just keep it to himself? Of course after you write a song like that the cat's pretty much out the bag. Or did the other guy dump her so she went crying to him for solace and they wound up living happily ever after, or maybe they both dated her and she wound up getting a bad reputation so she had to move away. Or maybe she turned gay after his friend, or maybe HE turned gay because really the song wasn't about Jesse's girl, but about Jesse himself.

I mean, how you gonna leave me hangin' like that?

Someone out there knows, and needs to tell me.

Tell me, tell me now. I've wasted way too much time already thinking about this one song.

Do it.

-M.

Bugs of Louisiana

I have yet to see a live one, but there are carcasses all over the parking lot of my complex. One night when it was dark there were two of them when I stepped out of my car. I almost screamed, at a stupid bug. They are HUGE. Two weeks ago we were almost overrun with moths. All shapes and sizes, white, grey, orange, I inhaled one walking up the stairs. I now spend time sweeping dead bugs off my door mat. With each new turn of the weather comes a new kind of bug. One day, just one single day, there were a bunch of weird little black bugs all over my plants, about 1/4" long round, I wouldn't know where to begin looking for what kind. Another day I checked on my plants to find two absolutely covered with aphids, I fought a good battle and took my peppers back. I hear tell of mosquitoes that can carry off dogs and small children when the weather gets really warm and wet. I pray for cold spells, but they only bring different types of bug, and make them heartier.

The giant water bugs are also known as toe-biters, and apparently deliver an incredibly painful bite if disturbed. Their front pincers are strong enough to hold a frog while it eats it. Imagine, a bug eating a frog. Only in Louisiana, folks. And I thought Florida had bugs. Let me tell you those itty mosquitoes and millions of cockroaches look like amateurs compared to these.

There have also been sightings of stink bugs, flying ants (for lack of a more exact name) grasshoppers, etc. And I live on the third floor.

Please send mosquito netting. I'm skurred.

Just another day in paradise.

Who knew?

Personally I would have put them between the suits and the miracle cures, but at least now we know where to get suckers.

Lent

More than 500 murders took place on this one street in Ashville, NC during the Great Depression.

I'm giving up hope for Lent.

See what happens. More later.

Love,
M.