There's GOD in them there pots!

A few days ago I got a powerful yearning for curry from that Punjab restaurant in Cocoa Beach, FL. Only there are no Indian restaurants, Punjabi or otherwise, within 75 miles of here. So I searched Wal-Mart for anything even slightly resembling Punjabi curry, with no luck. Apparently in southern Louisiana you are either Cajun or Chinese or Mexican, maybe part Japanese, but those are your choices. Suffice it to say I went a little crazy in my head. You ever had a craving that you know you won't be able to fulfill for months? I tried to put it out of my head, but I went to buy bread and wouldn't you [curseword] know it, they had nan. Really? Not a single bit of any sort of slightly Indian food anywhere but they had nan. OK, so I ransacked their spice isle and found garam masala and basmati rice. Not all was lost, but it felt like it might be.

Hurrah for GARAM MASALA.

I found a recipe for Murgh Saag, not quite the curry I wanted, but a very close second. And Oh Dear Jesus, I just want to say a quick thank you for creating ginger, onions, coriander, chickens, butter, ginger, & GARLIC. Because at about the point where I had to put the onions, garlic, ginger and hot peppers into the food processor, my head started singing hymns. It started that ask and response typical of gospel churches, and eventually I started praising Jesus out LOUD, because hot DAMN those spices were meant to spend every second of their herbal lives together and also, with me. And when I added heat, every time I stirred it got a PRAISE JESUS or a HALLELUJAH which is kinda funny considering it's mostly Hindus in India.

This recipe has been a truly religious experience. I'm having a very hard time explaining exactly how I feel about all of these PERFECT ingredients being combined and turned into some delectable concoction.

If my taste buds don't give me a heart attack from sheer pleasure, I will be sure to report back soon.

Yours in Praise.
-M.

Jesse's Girl

You know that song about how that one guy wishes he had Jesse's girl? I was listening to it on the radio the other day, really listening to the lyrics, but then it just ended. What happened?

I mean, did he get the girl? Did they let some tramp ruin their friendship? Did he find another girl like Jesse's girl? Did he just keep it to himself? Of course after you write a song like that the cat's pretty much out the bag. Or did the other guy dump her so she went crying to him for solace and they wound up living happily ever after, or maybe they both dated her and she wound up getting a bad reputation so she had to move away. Or maybe she turned gay after his friend, or maybe HE turned gay because really the song wasn't about Jesse's girl, but about Jesse himself.

I mean, how you gonna leave me hangin' like that?

Someone out there knows, and needs to tell me.

Tell me, tell me now. I've wasted way too much time already thinking about this one song.

Do it.

-M.

Bugs of Louisiana

I have yet to see a live one, but there are carcasses all over the parking lot of my complex. One night when it was dark there were two of them when I stepped out of my car. I almost screamed, at a stupid bug. They are HUGE. Two weeks ago we were almost overrun with moths. All shapes and sizes, white, grey, orange, I inhaled one walking up the stairs. I now spend time sweeping dead bugs off my door mat. With each new turn of the weather comes a new kind of bug. One day, just one single day, there were a bunch of weird little black bugs all over my plants, about 1/4" long round, I wouldn't know where to begin looking for what kind. Another day I checked on my plants to find two absolutely covered with aphids, I fought a good battle and took my peppers back. I hear tell of mosquitoes that can carry off dogs and small children when the weather gets really warm and wet. I pray for cold spells, but they only bring different types of bug, and make them heartier.

The giant water bugs are also known as toe-biters, and apparently deliver an incredibly painful bite if disturbed. Their front pincers are strong enough to hold a frog while it eats it. Imagine, a bug eating a frog. Only in Louisiana, folks. And I thought Florida had bugs. Let me tell you those itty mosquitoes and millions of cockroaches look like amateurs compared to these.

There have also been sightings of stink bugs, flying ants (for lack of a more exact name) grasshoppers, etc. And I live on the third floor.

Please send mosquito netting. I'm skurred.

Just another day in paradise.

Who knew?

Personally I would have put them between the suits and the miracle cures, but at least now we know where to get suckers.

Lent

More than 500 murders took place on this one street in Ashville, NC during the Great Depression.

I'm giving up hope for Lent.

See what happens. More later.

Love,
M.

Don't watch Law & Order: SVU if you don't want to think horrible thoughts

Over the next few weeks we're going to explore my feelings on a lot of things. I am pretty sure that most of you will agree with me. I always find it funny that if you take one idea and couch it in different terms, you can make atheists, Christians, republicans, democrats, rednecks, europeans and me agree. However, you Idealists out there are on your own.

I'm not sure this is going to be one of those times.

Now I understand sexual deviants, I went to college. And yes, I do look at pedophilia as a sexual deviancy. And I feel so very bad for those people who have that proclivity. I know it probably stemmed from some abuse in their childhood. Really, I'm sorry about your luck. This doesn't stop me from thinking they should be put to death, ESPECIALLY if they've ever acted upon it.

What are the options? The can be in jail, raped, abused, lacking personal freedom. (This should probably be mandatory for pedophiles). They can have chemical castration, but what is life without sex? Frustrating as hell. (This is probably the best option). They can go to meetings, like alcoholics, which always leave the option for back-sliding. Or they can do good while they're here and die like men and hope for a better reincarnation. Let God sort it out. I know if I had that sort of proclivity I'd just finish it. Or hire someone to finish it.

Makes you wonder why pedophilia is even an option. Like what Creator would even let adults ever think of children as sexual beings. But I guess it all goes back to free will. Something I enjoy about Christianity is the concept of FREE WILL. God never forced anyone to be a Christian (humans tried to do that). Meaning that humans have free choice to believe in God, or not, to worship Him, or not, to be good, or not, and apparently: to have sex with children, or NOT.

What thE..!?

Why is that even an option?

I've been watching Law & Order SVU and hooooly crap. That is messed up. It's even more messed up that it isn't complete fiction. We've all read these cases in the papers and then saw a "fictional" version on tv.

Why I prefer ghost stories, because I haven't met anyone who was terrorized by ghosts, but too many who were terrorized by other humans.

I'll try to talk about something more cheery next time.

Damn.

-M.

MORE!

My husband tells me I get to spend money on myself for Valentine's day because he isn't going to be here. I'm debating between a cooking class, or booze and hookers. Decisions decisions.

But I did get a new job working with People, some of whom are actually funny, others even laugh at my jokes!

Best Yet: I was driving to work over Lake Pontchartrain and listening to Jelly Roll Morton on a PUBLIC RADIO STATION that WASN'T NPR, and reminiscing about all the crappy, repetitive radio and the lack of ANY decent radio in Central FL, and at that moment I really was walking on sunshine.

I am of the opinion that you should live wherever you like the music best. HA, suckers. Now I do. I think I'm going to stay here.

Also, I was afeared that there wouldn't be enough water, because you know I'm used to living 3 blocks from the beach, and I LIKE water, I mean a whole lot. But that whole thing about bayous and water is true. (That they are made of water). And it rains a lot a lot. Not just the 15 minutes a day showers we got in FL, but like for days.

Which reminds me: one afternoon driving home and the street got all golden-looking. I started getting freaked out, like some apocalyptic event was about to take place, it just felt wrong. I was looking around wildly trying to figure what the hell was wrong, when I saw the sun over to my right, going down. A sunset, you know? And then it hit me, I've been living on the East coast for so long I totally forgot what a sunset looked like. I haven't seen the sun actually go down in about 10 years. I've seen it disappear behind buildings and other structures, but not actually go below the horizon. It made me laugh.

Suffice to say, between the water, the music, the people and funny colors the streets turn in the evening, so far so good.

Love,
M.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

We knew dems was comin, now dems is here.

Yeah, I did it. Got married, got pets (2 fish with no names) moved 15 hours away to where I know no one, and *gasp* changed my rate plan with AT&T.

This is our apt. ----->
It is beautiful and brand new. It smells really frickin bad outside some days. Like fresh poop. Seriously gross.

My husband, he off-shore until mid-march. I've gone days without speaking to anyone but my fish or those dips at AT&T, (let me clue you in, if you transfer me, tell me to call a different number or put me on hold for long periods of time, you're not 'helping' me, so QUIT LYING). Hopefully I won't spend my birthday alone, but in New Orleans you're never really alone, not on Bourbon Street. I don't live in New Orleans. Alas.

You'd think I mind it, but it's not bad. Seriously, not a soul has bitched at me about my weird sleep schedule, or made fun of me when I burned a pan of ground beef because I couldn't leave an instance. I mean, the most action I've gotten in weeks was when a puppy licked my leg, but one learns to cope.

Love,
M.